It's time for a new pediatrician

So I think it is time for a new pediatrician. I have tried to like the doctor that was assigned to us since day one for Mini. It’s not just that I don’t feel that my concerns are being addressed it’s that at our most recent appointment he wanted to have the FAT talk.

I will be the first to admit I am not a dainty flower of a woman and I married a large man strangely enough Mini is a big boy. Instead of being congratulated for having a baby in the top 100 percentiles his doctor wanted to discuss how to manage his weight because as he so delicately put it your husband is large, and odds are your son is always going to be big.   Right now Mini is primarily breast-fed and I intend to keep nursing him until at least a year old. Yes he has started solids but guess what thanks to Mini we all eat better because I am very conscious of what habits he is developing. I don’t want him to grow up having food and weight issues. As his mother I want him to be a healthy happy boy who grows up to be a healthy happy man . Having spent years having food and body issues I am not going to project a complex of fatness on an infant nor am I going to cut him off from breast and give him water. He is going to continue to nurse until we wean and when he eats solids it’s going to continue to be a healthy mix of fruits and vegetables, meats, and grains. What we are going to do instead is change doctors.

I have spoken with multiple moms in the metro area and not one has voiced a similar issue with their child’s doctor. Most of the nursing mommies I know say their little ones also went through a round phase and that as their movement increased their tummies decreased. I admit if after we wean and Mini is walking solo he continues to have a weight issue I will be happy to discuss dietary changes or what I can do to further reinforce healthy meal time choices but in the mean time I’m going to let my baby be a baby.  

Thank you Hannah Montana

Thank you Miss Miley Cyrus, as a step mother to two girls I can not imagine any better way to teach them to be respectable young ladies than by saying look at that young woman. She is out there showing no respect for herself, her family or the generation that grew up idolizing her as Hannah Montana. Right now I am so grateful that we never embraced Hannah Montana.

The truth of the matter is I feel kind of wrong even blogging about Miley. She is acting out and getting attention for it. While I understand people are saying she is doing this to show she is a woman and evolved past being a Disney star however she started out as a wholesome family character with a youth fan base. I do understand that she has grown out of that. However even if she did want to shed that persona she didn't have to act a fool on national tv during prime time.  A woman can be sexy without being sleezy and you don't have to be naked to be provactive please see Marilyn Monroe if you need inspiration.

This whole incident makes me realize I need to take some extra time to sit down with the girls as they get older and talk to them about what it means to be a woman. It doesn't mean you get naked in ill fitting underwear and parade your body. Being a woman means you are grown and act accordingly. It means you take the time to take pride in your appearance before you go out the door. What you wear and how you present yourself are how people are going to perceive you. Yes that is shallow however that is the society we live in. So cover yourself up, take the time to groom yourself, keep your tongue in your mouth, and don't act a fool in public.  As much as dressing inappropriately might get you attention for a minute it won't get you respect or a phone call in the morning (gah sidebar I'm not ready to be thinking about the girls being that old yet). I have time to work with our girls and I do hope they come to realize that classy will get you much much farther than trashy.

Until that day comes I will be using Miss Miley as our poster child for what not to wear and why we get rid of clothing we've outgrown. So thank you Hannah Montana for giving my girls a reminder that we buy underwear in our size and we cover them up before we go out in public.

 If nothing else they could of gotten that girl some undies that fit and that were in a flattering color/fabric. She can even give me a call and I'll take her to Target.

It's 70 days till halloween

It’s 70 days till baby’s first Halloween and I feel like we need to do something epic. I know he won’t remember it and I’m kind of being selfish because this is totally something for me. I spent most of my pregnancy hoping that he would be born early so I would have an excuse to throw him a costume party every year. Instead little man camped out inside till almost Thanksgiving, which I can’t really blame him for. All last through out my pregnancy I was Googling the newborn costumes for something ridiculous to bring him home in just in case. Here we are almost a year later and I get my first Halloween with Mini in 70 days.

That means it’s time to plan costumes. Most years if we have The Bigs it means I break out the crafts and they get home made costumes. It won’t be any different for Mini. However he is still to little to go anywhere without mom or dad which means we need to figure out a group themed costume because I am feeling like being just that anal about the whole situation. Ideas I am toying with

-Batman and Alfred- for him and dad.

-Batman and Batgirl- for him and mom.

-Mario, Luigi, and Princess Peach-all of us.

-The Wicked Witch and her winged monkey-him and mom.

Or if we have The Bigs (which is highly unlikely given that Halloween falls on a Thursday this year.) 

-Justice League

-Avengers

-Wizard of Oz

I just want to do something silly and fun given that this is the first. It sets the bar for the future and it’s a great time of year for photo opportunities. Not to mention with my fabulous powers of procrastination if I don’t start early things happen the day of. A few years a go twas the day before Halloween and I had yet to start the Bigs costumes. I have no wish to ever repeat that level of crafting anarchy. So even though he won’t be trick of treating this year. I do hope to take him to Boo our family and create some special memories.

You might be saying you have two months gesh lady calm down. I completely understand but as I only got to celebrate Halloween once as a child it kind of made a big impression on me, as it was s forbidden. I never want my children to feel left out of something that is such a part of a “normal” childhood experience. That and I have spent years hearing how cute his siblings were and maybe I’m a teensy bit competitive?

If you have ideas, suggestions, hand me downs let me know, thanks.

Candy Topiaries it's a good thing (please don't sue me Martha)

See the top one obviously done by a professional me. 

See the bttom one done by little old me. 

Candy topiaries looked so cute but so expensive of course I could do it myself why couldn't I? It's not like it takes much skill to stick suckers into styrofoam balls? Boy was I wrong. If you want to try this at home run out and purchase the following:

-Doweling cut for as tall as you want your topiary

-Styrofoam balls I used 2  1/4"  balls (you could go bigger)

-All the DumDums (Rite Aid sells them in 2lbs bags or you can order them directly from #Spanglers the manufactures.

-Something to stick your topiary in (I repurposed #Crystal Light container with a cute wrap in duct tape, you could also use mugs, or clay pots, whatever your little heart desire)

-Something to weigh your topiary container down, these are top heavy you NEED balast to prevent falls. (I've used both #Butterfingers and salt water taffy. Again whatever is going to make you happy)

To start with you have to construct your topiary. In my case I inserted 1 chopstick into the bottom of 2 1/4" ball.

 Than you start adding suckers if your thinking about doing this yourself a little hint start at the top work your way outward in an straight line around the ball. It should look like your stryofoam ball a has a mohawk. At the same time try and convince your small child in my case Mini that no he can not have suckers even though they look delish and he wants them all . Pause to comfort child and police area ensuring that no suckers are with in Mini grabbing level. Next working from the top add another line of suckers you should now have an x or t of suckers going around your ball. Start filling in the sides, you may want to do this working from the top down do not work just one side at the time due to the weight issue. Equal distribution is the key for this project. Continue to fill in until one of the following occurs

- you ask yourself do I really want to let my child have this much candy

-styrofoam quits supporting suckers or you run out of room

-you run out of suckers

insert your topiary into base do not let go as it will wobble, add your balast. Congratulate yourself on your awesomeness for not paying a professional stylish.

Working from home


It sounds ideal doesn't it to be a mommy who works from home and thankfully my boss is kind enough to allow me to work 1/3 of my hours give or take from home. I'd like to say that it is all sunshine and lollipops and cute craft projects while mommy is on the phone. The truth of the matter is it is hard but it is so worth it. I love that I don't have to put Mini in daycare and run to the office and at the same time I have the feeling of stress that he needs to be good ie quiet so I can do what needs to be done and bring home my share of the bacon.

On perfect days I am that picture of work from home mommy, a big cup of coffee my little one is nearby quietly and safely entertaining himself with his toys and juice; or even better he is taking his nap craddling his monkey. The minutes speed by and I am able to get everything dispatched in a timely and efficent manner. Baby is calm and happy, mommy is calm and happy, and no one ever knows that I am not in the office. We finish the shift and it's like I am just you everyday stay at home mom.

On bad days its obvious that I am a mommy working from home. I don't expect people to be nice about it or even understand but I would like to say I am doing my best. To provide superior assistance and attend to their needs while maintaing the illusion that I am not being used as a jungle gym, while sitting in a pool of spilled coffee, hoping against hope that Mini will not start shrieking like a monkey who found out his banana stash was eaten. Those days are stressful for both of us. He is still at the age where it's hard to understand why mommy can't cuddle and nurse NOW, not in 15 minutes from now.  Those are the days when the clock drags and your double checking computer versus cell phone time for this shift to be over so at least you only have to worry about baby.

Good days or bad days I am so lucky that I am in a postion where I don't have to commute everyday, pay for a sitter, dress for success , and try to have a healthy breakfast before getting out the door. My office is in my home. I can keep the big bag of goldfish in my desk for baby and me to snack on if needed. On long days he is pretty good about working his nursing schedule around my breaks and being patient. All and all my working works for us.

Monogrammed cupcakes another mistake

I guess I try to hard sometimes to be the perfect "mom" to me home made birthday cupcakes are something special and it means that you have put that extra effort and love into caring that the child has something non mass market and original. Regardless of the time sacrifice you have to make to accomplish it.

 Example for the first round of birthday celebrations at grandma's I made the above birthday cupcakes for the girls, ringed in carefully sorted m&ms and monogrammed with their intials. A project that got started at 9pm at night after working an 11.5 hour day. I still made the effort to get cupcakes baked, cooled, frosted, decorated, and than packaged to survive the trip to grandma's house. I thought this would be a fun bonding project where we could work together as a family and get it done in a timely efficent matter not that I would be working on it solo while the twins ate the surplus m&ms and the hubs wrangled Mini.

While I thought cupcakes turned out ok, maybe I am wrong maybe I just need to give up on trying to do things that are special and unique and instead just order mass produced baked goods from my local grocery. It would sure save time and maybe that would justify the expense?  I have two more weekends of birthday extravaganza to get through (as grandma decreeded that each twin needed her own birthday dinner and we will have them over their birthday <yes that works out to 3 weekends of birthday, plus birthday with their mom too, can you feel the hedonism> )and you may or may not see additional homemade cake pictures. Instead you may see pictures of my surrender and ordering a cake that takes me 5 minutes and swipe of the Visa. I guess I'm just not a modern Martha Stewart and frankly I don't think they care. Does anyone have the number to a good bakery?

I feel I need to add a post script to this blog. In no way shape or form am I upset about grandma choosing to celebrate the twins birthdays seperatly. (Family reads the blog you know and I am not trying to start some sort of upset). Just feeling that maybe I don't make the wisest investments of my time trying to do the best for my family. To me taking that time to make and create is a way that I do show my love for my family because money is easy but time shows that I care.

Why yes I nurse in public but I'm not militant about it

So last week I saw posts all over for breast feeding week and how we should be supportive of our nursing mothers. As much as it is nice that society is embracing the nursing mother; lots of  women seem to have horror stories too.

 This week in review has really made me feel lucky that  I live in a progressive city where I have never been shamed for nursing. In fact I have often found that I have been more worried about the nursing than I should be. When I first returned to work I had to meet our child care provider to pick up Mini and I was terrified of nursing him in public before heading for home. I would try to get him to take expressed milk via bottle and than it happened. The day where he refused the bottle in public and he was hungry and grumpy and not nursing wasn't an option. So I did it and long story short both of us were a lot happier for it. I was still a little embarrassed I mean were out and about at the #Lair Hill Bistro and while I was trying to be discrete this still was their business. Would we be welcome back as customers and still get impeccable service? All I can say is thanks to the wonderful owners and their being  nursing friendly and their expressing that they are grandparents they understand when littles need to eat when  littles need to eat, that I felt comfortable with continuing to use it as the place to transfer baby, catch up conversation, unwind after work oh and have fantastic breakfasts. It also made me feel ok to go out and about with baby and when he is peckish we find a place and we nurse.


However it wasn't just nursing in public that was an issue at first. Mini is not an only child he has the Bigs who weren't breastfed and haven't had a whole lot of interaction with nursing mothers. It took us a while for everyone to get comfortable with. The Bigs also have another brother by their mother so to them feeding the baby meant making a bottle and feeding that way. It also meant some adjustments. The first few weekends we spent a lot of time hiding out in the bedroom but that was no solution, especially as Mini has gotten better. So we have learned as a family to be discrete and they are pretty good about grabbing me a blanket for him so no one sees anything traumatizing (kidding). It's taken a while but we've made it work for all of us and when Mini needs a meal it's no big deal.


On another there are the militant nursing mothers and while I nurse in public I am not ready to join their ranks. While we nurse in public we are fairly discrete and shy you won't see Mini having a snack while I stride through the grocery store and that's ok too.We are doing what's right for us and they are doing whats right for them. So happy belated breastfeeding week folks

Me 2.0 the new improved version fresh lemon scent not included



I thought I when I became a mom nothing would change I would still be me just with an awesome sidekick. All I can say is how deluded and wrong I was being a mom has made me a better person on so many levels. It’s also helped me in being a stepparent because I can put things into a different perspective. Not that I am a perfect parent I really don’t think any of us are but I think most of us are doing our best and that is perfect.

To start with being a parent has made me focus on what’s important. Is it important to make it to work on time, make it family gatherings in a timely fashion, make it to appointments on time, yes. Anything else is variable the world is not going to end if I don’t make it out the door when I’d like to run errands. If we go out to dinner and it takes us hours to finish that’s ok too. I just don’t feel an urge to rush anymore. As long as everything get’s done eventually  it doesn’t matter so much to me when it gets done.

Financially I find myself being more responsible as well. Not just in paying the bills on time and making sure that groceries are bought but also in establishing savings and looking a head to the future. The same applies with discretionary expenses I used to be pretty self indulgent when it came to purchases now its easier to say do I really need/want this. Is this a good purchase that I will be happy with in the long run or am I spending money to spend money. I admit we still have our expenses my husband smokes, I buy comic books (the kids will thank me someday) and regular books. However things like a pair of on trend boots, or a new purse just don’t seem as important these days.

In regards to being a stepparent I am not a perfect one. I do my best to do right by them making sure they have needs, and wants met. I have also tried to set them on the right path with chores, manners, education, hygiene, etc; all the things that they are going to need when they start flying the nest in a few years. I would be lying to say that I have done a perfect job, while they are pretty well rounded there is a lot they need to brush up on before than. However having Mini has made me step back and realize these are not my children they are my husband’s and its not my role to do more than lovingly guide and support them and him. They are still children they are going to make mistakes and the best thing I can do is correct them now while they are still in our house and listening before they go out into the world and learn things the hard way. Where as with Mini I can make the choices and decisions I want to make with just my husband because I am “just” the step mom I don’t get an absolute say with the stepchildren and that’s ok too. They are not my children to raise. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is being a mom has really made me reevaluate who I am and what is important to me. It’s kind of shocking what suddenly becomes unimportant. Are there things I would like to do for just me of course.  However right now that’s not a priority right now the priorities in my life are 1 husband, 1 teenager, 2 preteens, 1 mini, oh and the cat.  Basically being the mom means I didn’t change at all I just got refined into something better, Me 2.0. I probably could use some fresh lemon scent to go with it though.

The silent ways I tell my family I love you

I don't always say I love you as often as I could to my family and I'm working on it. I'm pretty much the strong silent one in our family but just because I don't say it doesn't mean I don't do things to show them I do love them no matter what.  A few of the ways follow

1. I try to keep the house to semi clean. It's not perfect it is a house that is lived in and we are a big family but I do try and make it homey and tidy. That means dishes washed, floors vaccumed, toys picked up at least in the living room. During a good week that also means floors moped, mirrors polished, etc etc. Sometimes it doesn't all happen and that is ok too. However my husband works hard and I like him to be able to come home and be able to relax and not worry about having to tidy up. The same goes with the step childern I feel if it's not their mess they shouldn't have to deal with it.


2. Laundry. I secretly hate doing laundry, however there is something about having clean clothing available that is wonderful. So I do it not always cheerfully (but if Mini is the only one to hear me grumble it doesn't count, right?) . At the end and the begining of the day there is always clean socks, underwear, towels etc. Whatever people need will be clean and waiting for them

3. Groceries. There are things that I just don't eat and that I wouldn't buy if I didn't have family. Goldfish crackers,  Pop Tarts, fruit snacks, basically an entire cupboard  has been dedicated to the childern and their snacks since we moved into an apartment with a cupboard to spare. The reasoning is that way there is always something they can eat no matter what time of day with out asking permission (that's for cookies, candy, etc). Something that doesn't require cooking or fussing its just theirs. I have all sorts of weird food issues but that is a different blog. What matters to me is the kids don't ever have to worry about not having something to eat.

There are lots of other things I do to show my family I love them, some big, some small, some that cost money, a lot that don't. I'm not the best at it but I hope my family can always say I know I am loved, important and my number one priority.