Our shocking lack of cultural heritage

I realized the other day we are raising Mini Monkey without a real sense of ethnic heritage: I also can't help but wonder how we would even embrace and promote a culture as we are pretty much all American with no ties to the old world. This isn't just an issue for MiniMonkey. I didn't grow up embracing any heritage or ethnicity either.

Even with maternal  grandparents who were first generation Americans we never embraced any of the cultural festivals.  I don't have memories of the house smelling of delicacies, or pulling on leiderhose, or listening to the ompapa music. We didn't even really talk about where our family was from and what traditions they had before coming to America or what traditions became incorporated into day to day life.

My paternal grandparents are even more vague, my father's side of the family didn't play any real part in my growing up.  As I have grown older we have established relationships but not traditions and it's hard because there is that void. We don't all gather for the holidays, or birthdays. Thanks to the wonder's of technology in a good month we all will at least text back and forth, maybe a call or two. Not exactly the foundation for a strong cultural identity.

I admit knowing my ethnic history hasn't lead me to embrace a group as an adult either. Most weeks we eat food from a variety of cultures. I am as likely to shop at ethnic market as I am to shop at big box store. I can speak a handful of phrases in a variety of languages non of which I am solidly literate in. 

True this does give the ability to pick and chose what I want my son to know and grow up experiencing but it also leaves an emptiness. I will never be able to say we do x because your grandma or grandpa did and their parents before them, so on and so forth and that has left me with a void that I don't know how to fill or really explain.

How being a mom has kind of made me a badass

I never thought that vacuuming could make me feel like a badass but that was before I realized I could breakdown, empty, clean, and reassemble my vacuum in under 3 minutes while keeping an eye on baby. Sure it’s not exactly breaking down a .45 in 25. If you don’t get the reference see. http://www.metacafe.com/watch/an-RcxD4J4b2hnmY/scent_of_a_woman_1992_frank_assembling_weapon_part_2/

However that moment made me realize how many other things I do know that while aren’t really super I used to say I couldn’t do or could wait until my husband came home.

The other day during the great pacifier crisis I made the decision that guess what the sofa can’t be that heavy might as well move it and check underneath. I didn’t find the pacifier but I did find I could move the sofa by myself. It was also easier than I thought it would be. No more excuses for not vacuuming underneath it.

When we first brought MiniMonkey home I was sure I could never carry him and his accessories up and down the stairs into our apartment by myself. Since than I have learned that indeed I can tote baby, stroller, and the groceries inside in one go. Baby just keeps getting heavier too so it’s not like the load is getting any less. The good news is I can do it faster.

Also the kind of intensive cleaning the kind I used to put off for a day off now gets done any chance I get. If baby is occupied safely in his bouncer or in his crib napping that means I have x # of minutes to get things done. In the past few months that has meant that my blinds got cleaned, the kitchen cupboards have gotten cleaned and organized, and items to be donated have gotten sorted on the regular. Not just put on my to do list. Is it the perfect solution? Probably not but things are getting done baby is happy and house is clean.

Am I really that badass, not at all. However next time I’m feeling down I will just remember being a mom has made me stronger, faster, tougher.

Legal disclosure I have no rights to scent of a woman, this clip was borrowed from above addresss. Found by a quick google search on the wonderful web.

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility or why I read my son comic books

I could go with the easy answer we live with in walking distance to Dark Horse Headquarters’ what kind of mother would I be if my son didn’t have a collection of comics living that close to a publishing house? The truth is I feel there are some important lessons my son can learn from comic book heroes.

For example Spiderman, Peter Parker doesn’t set out in the beginning to help any one other than himself. He likes the fame, adoration, and paycheck but he is doing nothing for the greater good. He lets the very robber who ends up killing Uncle Ben escape previous to going hero. The truth is in most of our day-to-day lives we would of too, it is easier to look the other way and only worry about ourselves. However once this tragedy unfolds he realizes he has the power to do something more than be a bystander.

Next up Ironman, Tony Stark is a billionaire playboy and weapon inventing and manufacturing genius. He’s also mercenary with their sales not really caring for more than next good time and payday. Initially the Ironman suit isn’t even built for fighting evil it’s built for survival and to get out of a rather nasty prison. This is when he evolves into the hero he realizes that he has unleashed evil into the world and that someone needs to be out there fighting the good fight protecting the innocent. Given that he has the financial means and technology who better than him

I could continue but I would hate to offend any of the publishing companies, writers, or fans with my synopsis of heroes. Yes they are way deeper and more complex than I am giving in my summary could I turn this into a multi page thesis probably. Am I leaving out major portions of story line, why yes indeed I am if your curious good go support a local comics store and pick up and origins story.

 Do I want my son scaling walls and trying to fight crime; no not really maybe in 20 years if he decides he wants a career in law enforcement we’ll talk?  I do want him to grow up knowing people are usually genuinely good, they make mistakes though, its ok to be flawed our flaws give us character and make us human.

More important than any lesson I read my son comics because it is fun and it will hopefully encourage him on the path of literacy.  If it doesn’t than I will be the cool grandma at the nursing home reading my graphic novels. 

Oh I should probably mention as awesome as it would have been no this post was not sponsored by Marvel, DC, Imagine, Dark Horse Comics or any other publishing house. Spiderman and Ironman were chosen at random by a sleep-deprived mom trying to make a point and schlep down to Things From Another World and buy our reading materials myself. Also if you see above I in no way endorse becoming a super hero and fighting crime yourself unless; you’re bitten by a radioactive spider, discover you have special mutant genetics, etc. (That should cover legalities right)

There is no place like home

There really is no place like home and I think we found the perfect balance of small town living with city or country access. As much as I complain about where we live a lot of it is done with love. Do I miss living in the city, yes I do a lot. However am I happy that we do live close enough that's not an issue to take Mini Monkey in for doctor's appointments, or shopping, or just to make  run to Voodoo Donuts. Even better we live with in walking disance to Dark Horse Comics, I'd  like to think that was part of my husband's plan when he moved us here almost 5 years ago but I doubt it. We left the inner city because of the childern and the fact that when I was single I lived in a tiny (400sq ft) studio apartment. For single life it was perfect there was access to groceries, restraunts, bus lines, entertainment, and it was all with in walking distance. Which well cozy for the two of us midweek it did mean it was to small for the weekends unless we packed in like sardines.

However with the addition of Mini Monkey to our lives it's time to review  our living arrangment again. Which means the dread M word that's right moving. I honestly think there is nothing I hate more than that feeling of limbo while everything is in boxes and your walking through the new home wondering if you did make the right choice. Will this neighborhood live up to the hype or will in 6 months to a year will you be packing up again and hoping?

Maybe Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ was right there is no place like home but what do you do when you define home as the place you are when you are with the people you love versus a physical location? Oh the problems of a nomad turned mother.

Our Cast or the co.

Sweet Moe- Moe is a derivative of my childhood nickname Monkey, thanks dad. I apparently acted similar to a howling primate early on. Don't worry as time passed I became much more sophisticated and mannered. All though sometimes I still think a lot of things could be solved with some well flung poo.

I am 27. This was a scary birthday it meant that I was no longer a youngster but I haven't quite joined the 30 club. Not that the I was ever part of the cool kid crowd with the clubbing or anything. Having been co parenting since I was 21 I never got into any wild club but I do know where all the cool play places are. The ones that don't have a 2 beer maximum.

I am still defining who I am in life, between being wife, mother, sister, aunt, friend, employee, domestic goddess,  etc and in that there is juggling everything so nothing gets left behind or missed.

The Hubs- He is 34 and our veteran parent in the house since he's been doing it since the tender age of 19. Sadly given the nature of his industry he is on the road and works erratic hours. The kind of crazy erratic hours where sometimes we don't see him him during waking hours for a day or two. That means a lot of the time it is  just me and Mini Monkey solo.

Also given that he grew up out here on the west coast that means there are some major differences in our styles and culinary habits. He tends to be more laid back where I am a bit more of the detail orientated perfectionist who is stressed out of her mind. We also tend to have the great kitchen rice versus potato debate but apparently that's just another Midwest-West coast thing. (more details to follow stay tuned)

Mini-Monkey- The baby, our little surprise after I had given up on being a mommy. I expected to be fulfilled with my role as step mother to the 3 older children and than whoops we found out in March 2012 we were adding one more. He is doomed to monkeydom too given that as soon as grandpa found out I was pregnant . Beyond that he is your not so average health happy baby.

That's the family Monday through Friday give or take school closures, holidays, etc. Given the nature of my husband's divorce come the weekend our family expands to include his other three children. I guess I should say that is when our family completes when everyone is under one roof and chaos ensues. Given their age and that they primarily reside with their mother I will keep their information break and give them equally awesome aliases.

Spud-At 14 he is the oldest and ringleader of the shenanigans a lot of the time. Having entered that awkward teenage faze of funky smells and techdepence. Someday we hope to see his face not illuminated by the glow of an ipod and maybe converse without the chime of a txt or game notification

The twins or the girls-They are 10 and they give us balance with 2 girls to the 2 boys. The odds are still against us with a ratio of 2:1. PonyGirl is just that obsessed with horses of all kinds and tends to have bit more attitude than sister. SharkBait is our marine biologist in training, she's also the more sensitive twin.  I could go into more details but given that I am not primary parent I want them to be safely vague and not resent me later on.

So that's a little snap shot of us. Nice to meet you and how do you?

In the begining... or getting to know me

So this is it. I am finally getting out there and diving into the wild wild internet. This blog is to follow my adventures as mom, wife, culinary/craft genius or madwoman and whatever random tangents this takes. You could be in for a wild ride.

More about me, I am a 27 year old mother of one, step mother of 3, newly married after 6 years of cohabitating. As you follow our adventures you will get a peak into our family. I like to say I'm one of those lucky moms that toy companies don't  have to edit their marketing for an age range just send me all the deals.

I try to craft and cook on the regular sometimes its a success and sometimes the failures are hilarious.