Baltimore's mom of the year

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/04/28/baltimore-mom-slaps-son-riot-freddie-gray/26505237/

I have to admit Moe doesn't always watch the news. It's not because I don't care it's because I just don't make the time to focus on it. To me watching the news often breaks down to either bad things are happening or here is a cute story. So mostly I catch up on events via Facebook. Last night that's what I was doing while putting the Mini Monkey down to bed and I caught the video of the Baltimore mom.

I have to say there has been a lot of different stances on her actions. There also has been a lot of responses made on Facebook and other media posts. My stance is this we are only seeing a few moments of this. Good for her for parenting her son in public. It was obviously not a proud moment for her. She was frustrated and upset. I believe any parent would be. Did she hit him upside the head, yes. Did she use profanity, yes. Was she probably terrified to be in the midst of a riot, with her son participating? How could she not be worried that he too would become a statistic.

Of course with a video that goes viral on Facebook people can get heated. They can make comments that are everything from educational, to silly, or even remarks that are crude and ridiculous. Everyone has the right to have their opinion. What we don't have the right to do is to run someone down because of it. I admit it Moe appears to the casual observer to be just another Caucasian female. It came up in discuss that I couldn't understand what I saw because of the color of my skin. Let's be honest what I saw was a mother correcting her man sized son. A son that she we presume raised from day one, from diapers, to first steps, to first day of school, and so on. I saw a mother who was upset, disappointed, and ashamed of child. I identified with her actions because that's probably what I would be doing too if I caught my man sized son out with a bunch of rioters. I made a judgement based upon a clip of video and my own maternal feelings.

So today I let myself get a little heated in Facebook land. Than I realized I'm judging someone on a few words, a few seconds, and on something that in all honesty they probably aren't going to dwell over. We are all doing our best. Yes there is a peaceful protest that has turned into riots and looting in some parts of Baltimore. Not everyone is Baltimore is part of the problem and the truth is they are going to need to be part of the solution. I'm going to take off my judgy pants and get off my soap box. Right after I say, "Good job, Baltimore mom".

Struggling to be complete

I will never be able to say that I have what is perceived as the perfect life. We aren't rich, thin, or beautiful (ok my kids are beautiful,  my husband is pretty handsome, and when I take the time to get pulled together I don't look like a complete hobo but I digress). For a long time in my youth I chased things that I thought would make me happy. I would work too many hours chasing money that we wasted doing things that didn't make us happy because we weren't doing them to be happy. It wasn't that I was taking the kids to the zoo to watch them have fun it was that I was taking them to check it off the bucket list and prove I was the complete package as a step mom. The same went for drinks with friends it wouldn't be a bar and a cocktail or two it would be a whole evening  out and have to escalate into some wild adventures. The same with wardrobe and accessories I needed to prove I was a grown up now so I needed the designer purse, had to have the suburban mommy outfits and the weekday not mommy outfits. No matter what I did I was feeling hollow and incomplete. Chasing the next something that would make me "happy".

Than we had what I can only term a series of unfortunate events. There were a few years where after the building market collapsed and my "good" job closed the location that we struggled and it wasn't fun. What that time did make me understand is that things while they are nice are never going to make me feel complete. What does make me feel complete is taking pride in what ever I am doing. Raising my kids, cleaning the house, avoiding eye contact with the neighbors, scouring the grocery store for deals, etc. Nights out don't really happen so much but occasionally nights in do because that's what works for my family now. The same applies to movie nights we haven't been to the theatre with the kids in years and we often red box and race to return when something finally comes out. It's not the life we once lived but we seem to enjoy it well enough.

Recently, I was having the complete talk with a friend of mine who has been struggling. This is how I knew I was more complete because I was able to say "XXXX, you are bad guy, but you are not bad guy". That's right I felt complete and fulfilled in my roles as wife, mother, and friend because I was able to give life advise from an animated movie. Why is that you say? Once upon a time I wouldn't of watched the dvd with the kids to remember the line, or I would of been too busy reading a book or dozing in my chair to remember the movie. Now I can give sage life advise based on quality time with my kids.

So I am still struggling to be complete. There are days when I wake up at one am and I just want to go for a walk. It's sometimes overwhelming the responsibility of being wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and all those other titles. I don't know if I will ever feel complete. That I 100 percent have my shit together. What I do know is I'm all right not having all the answers. What I do know is chasing what defines other people's view of success and completion is no way to be happy or complete. It's a good way to continue to feel inadequate and miss out on wonderful moments because you want them to be something they aren't. Or as one of my toddler's favorite movies puts it:

So if you need me I won't be checking the comments right away. I have a hot date with a toddler, a dvd, and maybe an secret stash of Easter candy leftovers. That's all I need to feel complete.

Do you really want me to wear the amount of material I can afford?

 

I admit it Moe doesn't often even look at splurging on a new t-shirt for herself. A lot of my wardrobe is a few years old or rescued from the second hand store. However late last night Moe happened to be shopping on line and looking for at a custom printed t-shirt. Now I admit this was a luxury item that I ended up not buying but not because it was a luxury item. No the reason why I didn't click and order was because instead of purchasing the unisex option I went to price the cost of a women's t-shirt instead. Moe didn't buy herself a new t-shirt of awesome because to get a shirt with less material than the unisex size she would have to pay extra.

 

This isn't just with a specific manufacturer or printer of t-shirts.  Often times even with clearance items there is an extra cost accessed for what is considered a plus size in women's or juniors wear but what is still considered with in the normal realms for unisex or men's wear. Often the item of clothing that is junior's or women's wear is made out of thinner ie less durable fabric that I will have to replace sooner than I would if I bought the equivalent in men's/unisex wear. The fit also when I buy unisex wear isn't as comfortable as if I bought something designed for a woman. My breasts are something that I do have to accommodate for. I can't just say I'm having a bad boob day and take them off. So that generally means paying an additional upsizing fee. So not only am I being charged for being a woman, I'm being charged extra for being a woman with large breasts.  Yet if you look at size chart above a women's large is still smaller than a men's medium. A women's large is also shorter in length than a men's or unisex medium.

 

I know this blog post probably won't change anything in the realm of gender inequality. Moe just won't buy from companies that continue to charge her an upsizing and being a woman fee. There is a difference in fit and feel between women's and unisex/men's sizing. So anything that has an extra fee to cover less won't be bought by me. IF you however you are looking for cheap advertising send Moe a t-shirt...  for no fee across my chest your logo can be.