This has been my first week back to school as an adult. It was also the week we lost my last grandpa and Mini's great grandpa. There was a lot of stress and decisions to be made. Let's never do a week like this again. It's hard to say I don't have the ability to go be a functional family member right now. Not just because of financial reasons, but because I have to prioritize being a good mother, employee and student. Would I loved to have been able to go and pay my respects, yes. Would it have caused other things to spin out of control yes.
Grieving is hard as a parent especially when you don't really have an outlet. Skipping the funeral and having a child to young to understand death made things interesting. Day to day operations at Casa Moe had to continue. I also needed to still go to my classes, submit my homework. There were hours to be worked at the money job too. Things had to continue and yet there is a loss.
I'm not ready to move on just yet and delete the last text messages from my phone. In time yes and probably before my next upgrade. Just not now. I need time to process. There are quite a few times that I take a picture or a video clip and get ready to send it and I'm not able to.
*** I started this post 9 days ago and I am going to publish it as it is now. I need to go back to posting weekly. So that is something I will have to factor into my weekly agenda. Right now I have read all the chapters I need to for the week and maybe I have had to much coffee. Thank you for putting up with my erratic posting schedule right. It should get better soon****
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