There are often things I convince myself to do without. A lot of the time it's things I really don't need. Like a coffee, or lunch out, or a new pair of shoes, the problem is that when I start engaging in that behavior it spirals. I convince myself to do without things I need or I procrastinate the purchase until it's a crisis.
For example I put off buying bras because there happened to be other things that needed to be purchased. Also who wants to take a toddler bra shopping. Oh and there is probably one more wear in this one. Until it's time to get ready to go to work and the underwire has come out of my last bra and I am frustrated and angry. Plus I am desperately figuring out an option to not go to work braless (thank you camisole tanks).
I put off replacing my headset for work. Until of course I am working from home and the cord finally snaps. There is nothing I can do I can't just clock off and be done for the day I have a responsibility to my job and one to my family. So I limp along working off my cell phone (thank heavens we never use all our minutes). The next day I work off the old plastic home phone I keep for emergencies. Again at the end of the day I am angry and frustrated because it's my own fault I am doing without.
I have to figure out the balance of taking care of myself and my needs. Some days that means I don't go without a cup of coffee. Other days it means I just buy the pair of shoes so I have the option besides boots and flip flops.. It hurt my relationship with my family when I go without taking care of myself. The more I do without the more frustrated, angry, and isolated I get. Things explode and implode and it's a mess. I need to do without the self sabotage and get with the self love.
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