Sunday Confessions, At the Doctor

At the doctor's office I always have such high hopes. That I will be seen promptly and treated with kindness and compassion. Often that doesn't happen I end up sitting in the waiting room watching the minutes tick by. Shuffling through the vintage magazines sometimes getting excited that Brad and Jennifer are still together. Finally if I am lucky my name will be called. Than comes the fun.

I understand the doctor having my vitals is important. However I know what my weight and height are. I am chubby or as my doctor kindly notated in my chart obese. No matter how active I am the weight has never come off. I do work out and walk daily. I try to eat right sometimes however I just do eat the fries and ice cream. After years of self loathing about my weight I am finally at a place in my life where I can love myself that means more to me than numbers on a scale.

Next comes more waiting. More vintage magazines or if I am really lucky a tattered Sport's Illustrated. The stress of wondering if I will make it to the next place I need to be because it's now been 20-30minutes of waiting past the start of my appointment and now I am still waiting. On a bad day the nurse pops in to tell you well the doctor just left the house now. At last the knock, knock on the door.

When the doctor comes in and asks is this an emergency appointment. That leads to a whole evaluation of what an emergency is. To me an emergency means that I am dying that it's time to call 911 or crawl to the emergency room. If I have waited and crawled in because of an injury it means that the issue is urgent to me and I want it addressed now. Not over the course of several visits. That when I leave the room we need to have a plan of resolution in place. No hemming and hawing over options. I want to know that we are going to do xyz to fix the issue.

So in the end I hate visiting the doctor's office. I avoid going until issues become urgent instead of doing regular visits because I don't feel that I am advocated for and treated well by my doctor. You might say when don't you find another provider? The truth is I don't because I usually only need treatment about once a year. So taking the time to interview other provider's isn't something I feel necessary. If something changes and I have a chronic condition that I will definitely be doing a Bacheloresque audition of doctors.